PDA

View Full Version : Unstoppable force vs immovable object...



Linon
08-10-16, 02:44 PM
It's been pretty quiet around here lately. Destructor seemed to have mostly grown up, although in our world "grown up" just means reaching maximum height.

Spring has well and truly sprung, but there are some birds who have decided to build their nest a bit later. That includes the pair of pied butcher birds that hang around our house. We haven't seen them breeding here before, but I have seen the odd one or two. But a breeding pair is a serious pair, not to mention a brave and/or stupid pair.

Destructor and The Big Unit were having their dinner. The birds were on the ground poking around looking for dropped nibbles. Now The Big Unit has horse-aspergers - he neatly separates out his kibble on the basis of size and colour in the bottom of his tyre-bucket. Destructor just sprays shit everywhere. Even when she tries to eat tidily (e.g. because she is very hungry), stuff still goes everywhere. We'd already had one situation a few years ago where a chook got a bit too close and was given the heave-ho at maximum escape velocity. Watching a No. 14 Steggles be launched into the stratosphere was rather memorable. Remarkably, she survived and as a champion layer, Mrs Stumpy Tail was awarded a burial with full honours when she died in her sleep a few months ago.

Obviously, these butcher birds were not around to witness what happens when you try to steal Destructors tucker, but this was a pair who were obviously desperate and thought they could go the double-bunger. I hadn't seen this before: one bird was halfway up her tail trying to pull out hairs for a nest. The other was at the front end trying to steal her dinner. The tail-bird would have got away with it if the other one hadn't have pissed her off while she was eating. First, the front hoof came forward at lightening speed to try and smash the offender taking her dinner, but this bird hopped out of reach. Second, the other hoof came forward, followed by an open set of jaws. No luck there either. Let it never be said that she is stupid. She waited, and watched. The bird at her tail was swinging on it as it was pulling the hairs out. So she swished the tail but it hung on. She swished it again, hard, and it still hung on. Finally, she cracked the shits. Bum went up, her legs went out, and her tailed swooshed hard. That butcher bird was given the bronco ride of it's life. It went on for a good 30 seconds while she tried to get rid of it. In the end, I wasn't sure if it was hanging on, or just tangled in the mess of tail. In the meantime, the other decided her dinner was open slather. That's when Destructor went nuclear. She struck out with her forelegs, biting and managed to swipe this bird, while the back end just worked it's magic. it stopped when the bird at the front decided to bail out, but by then the bird in the tail was, I think, kind of stuck there. All I could think of to do, was to give her some more lucerne to try and get her to calm down and give the bird a chance to untangle itself. Because I wasn't going anywhere near either end.

It took about half a minute, but it did get itself out, flying away with enough hair to build an ark. It didn't just have hair in it's beak, but also in it's claws, and had the most ruffled feathers I've ever seen this side of a feather duster. The other bird was still at the front end, thinking all was good, until it mis-timed it's approach to the tucker bucket and got the side swipe from her snout. In the end, I had to stand guard with a stick while she had the rest of her dinner in the filthiest mood imaginable. And The Big Unit just watched on...

Oh, and her little sister gets here next week.

:o

mindari
08-10-16, 03:16 PM
awesome installment, thanks you hve made my day

opensky
08-10-16, 04:13 PM
What a hoot :) glad all creatures escaped in tact...the only injury being no doubt to Destructor's dignity. The most well-named horse I know that one!

k123
08-10-16, 04:35 PM
I've got an image in my head of a birdy enshrouded in a ball of destructor tail hair, akin to a ball of yarn, flap bobbing away with as much haste as it can make LOL

As for the silly one on the bitey end, it was clearly lucky to escape a flattening!

cyrus
08-10-16, 05:41 PM
Lol.. I wonder if that bird will tell all its mates of the danger that could be :) Funny as.. I hope the sibling is liked by her mate :)

Muzziet
08-10-16, 06:28 PM
I wish I could draw.

I see a children's story book range complete with awesome illustrations and a range of soft toys.

flight
08-10-16, 06:52 PM
That's pretty funny!

Bats_79
08-10-16, 08:24 PM
I wish I could draw.

I see a children's story book range complete with awesome illustrations and a range of soft toys.


Soft toys? Surely you jest. :D

Great yarn Linon ;)

Muzziet
08-10-16, 11:57 PM
Maybe a pretty pony plush toy that becomes a transformer called Destructocon

doctordarling
10-10-16, 03:48 PM
Hilarious! And they say the corvids are intelligent; sounds like these ones will need therapy. ddx

flatland
11-10-16, 06:16 PM
Love it!!
Horses really can make you laugh sometimes. Just one more way they are so good for the soul
Also liked the Pony plush toy transformer

Jcr
14-10-16, 05:38 PM
Oh thank you so much Linon.
I have been down in the dumps recently and you have just made my day!! I love the Adventures of Destructor! Been thinking she had grown up and they were over, but now you have Junior waiting in the wings!!.
Poor Butcher birds!! I'll be chuckling for days!!

Linon
15-10-16, 12:58 PM
I am pleased to report that the butcher birds survived their ordeal. Not sure where the nest is yet, but will find out soon I hope.

The Apprentice has arrived and is parked at a neighbours place while we sort out some fencing.

The Master will meet her Apprentice tomorrow.

I have stacked up on analgesic chocolate in preparation.

For those of religious leanings, now is your time to pray for us all...

:)

mindari
15-10-16, 10:55 PM
I am pleased to report that the butcher birds survived their ordeal. Not sure where the nest is yet, but will find out soon I hope.

The Apprentice has arrived and is parked at a neighbours place while we sort out some fencing.

The Master will meet her Apprentice tomorrow.

I have stacked up on analgesic chocolate in preparation.

For those of religious leanings, now is your time to pray for us all...

:)

Heartfelt prayers are on their way, amen lord

Berni
18-10-16, 01:43 AM
her little sister gets here next week.

You are sure to have some fun and games if she has her sister's traits??? Good luck up there.