PDA

View Full Version : the kid topic No.2



mandybale
30-09-06, 12:56 AM
thought I'd start a new one as the old one was getting too full.

Someone, can't remember who, said 'why aren't parents asked why they have kids instead of childless couples asked why no kids all the time'. that is a valid point. I think you'll find that most of the answers are a little selfish. From mother natures point of view the only real reason for reproduction is to populate and increase size of species, this is a little selfish to start with so you can't get away from it. So from this point of view the people that decide not to have kids, does that mean they are not selfish? most of the reasons for not having kids (apart from not being able to) is because they don't have time, resources, think the world is a bad place etc. which I think isn't selfish at all.

So all you people with kids, why did you choose to have kids?

I'll start: I have 2 kids and our plan was to have 2 so we will be replaced when we go and we have left our mark on this world, I think that is selfish but like I said before, that seems to be the way it is.

gg_vice
30-09-06, 01:33 AM
I stated it in the previous post. The socio-economic group with the lowest fertility rates are in fact those in the highest earning capacity, so for them monetary resources is not the factor. So if people want to make it a better place to live, do you think this will be achieved by leaving the popluating of the Australia to those in the lower socio-economic groups? By leaving it to those on the social welfare round-a-bout to populate hardly seems the way to perpetuate a healthy skilled workforce which is what will be needed to support the impending future of of an ever ageing population ( thus there will be an increasing non-working population).
Oh and geez, don't anyone take this as a personal attack on their own circumstances please.

CateH
30-09-06, 01:40 AM
LOLS here we go again!

GG I'd like to point out that whilst you may be correct about which socio-economic groups are doing most re-populating, you make an assumption about which comes first..... i.e. are people in the wealthier brackets born that way, and "selfishly" choosing to enjoy their nice houses / lifestyles / jobs, or are they in fact in that bracket due to hard work, and being able to earn more because the female partner in the relationship has not had a break in her wages.

It is a well documented fact that professional women lose out on career progression when they have kids, as well as earning on average lower wages than their male equivalents.

I'd say the older mothers are very often in this situation, and having reached a point in their career where they feel secure to take a break, would think about having their first child. Hence the 35+ first time mothers...


"Reason to Smile #1: Every 7 mintues of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring."

scooti
30-09-06, 01:45 AM
GG - I'm sure you're correct with your facts etc about increasing the population. But was that truly the ONLY reason you wanted kids? Should people have kids for that reason alone?

dustee_love
30-09-06, 01:47 AM
personally i don't think not having kids is selfish or wierd, its an indervidual choice.
i have three kids, and my husband and i had them basically because we wanted a family. he'd lost his parents when he was young, and i grew up without much support from my mother. we both wanted our won family to love and cherish and have what we missed out on growing up. maybe that can be seen as being selfish, but for whatever reason we had them, we love them and wouldn't go back and change it for anything.
what surprises me though, is because we have three girls, we are always asked if we are going to try for a boy!
when i say no, i'm given a weird look.
anyway. like i said, its a personal choice and no one should be made feel guilty for what they choose.

gg_vice
30-09-06, 01:50 AM
Which wouldn't place them in the lower socio-economic group.
The scenario you have given is exactly why these women fall into the lower fertility groups as child bearing is left to after the age of 35 when fertility starts to decrease exponentially, hence they might only have one child.

scooti
30-09-06, 01:55 AM
Or you could look at it this way - are people without kids in the higher socio-econimic bracket BECAUSE they don't have kids. ie kids make ya poor :)


I'm travelling ok ATM for money, but if I stop and have kids (which I will soon) I'm going to fall from the higher bracket to the lower bracket very quickly as we will only be pulling in one wage instead of 2.

Wyndara
30-09-06, 02:09 AM
One of the considerations for me is that I like my job and my career. I might be in the higher income bracket, but to stay there I would need to keep my job. But for the life of me I can't see why people have kids and work fulltime. I feel guilty not having enough time for the horses and the dogs, let alone kids. So why do people who work fulltime have kids? Not meaning to offend anyone, just something that I don't understand.

Satine
30-09-06, 03:00 AM
I am in the higher bracket, have a child, and work full time from home. Not only do I now have a better paid job than before I had a child I am also out competing most weekends, I have 2 showjumpers in full time work and spent plenty of quality time with my daughter and husband. The cost of my daughter is FAR outweighed per week by the cost of just one of my horses! Most weekends you will see my family out at competitions having fun together as a family! THIS WHAT I CHOSE FOR ME AND I LOVE IT. EVERYONE SHOULD DO WHAT THEY DESIRE WITH THEIR LIFE TOO. Having children is not a prerequisite for a happy life it is a PERSONAL CHOICE. Having children only enriches your life if that is what you want.

This topic is getting boring! I have friends with kids, friends without kids, rich friends, poor friends, gay friends and they all have different views on the world and we are all accepting of each others lifestyles even if we mightn't agree on everything. THIS IS CALLED TOLERANCE!!! My father once told me never to discuss politics or religion and he was right. Reproduction should also have been on the list. People will never all agree on matters that are close to the psyche. Well done to all of us and we should all continue doing what we do best and agree to disagree.

gdh
30-09-06, 04:59 AM
My reason for not adding to the population is that if I can't do something 100% right, I won't attempt it & I've never ever felt that circumstances suited. I'd want the father to appear to be the ideal Dad & me to be on full alert at all times which would've interfered with my boozing (don't any more) & sleep :D. I often joke to ppl that I can but the neddies to bed @ 6.00 & not worry about them 'till the next morning which is the truth (most of the time). I do honestly think rearing a child properly should take priority over anything else so my choice was to put the time & devotion (oh & $$$$ :D) into my horses.
Often think tho' had I sought a tiny male from a genetically small line, it would've saved me a lot of trackwork rider hassles I've had since I stopped riding :D.
PS Great idea starting the new thread - it was too daunting for even me on BB to tackle when there were 'only' about 70 posts!! Gay

sunday
30-09-06, 05:01 AM
Never discuss politics, religion or reproduction? Well how boring lets all talk about the weather then :)
Anyhow, we sure talk a lot about sex in todays society, why not kids?
In regards to the higher socio-economics group not having kids, this is a fact in that WOMEN who earn over a certain wage are much much less likely to have children, and if they do its only one.
Whereas MEN are more likely to be dads if they earn more, and the richer they are the more kids they are likely to have.
This is obvious really, because the majority of work involved with children falls on the woman, she is the one who takes time off when pregnant, for the 1st year, to breastfeed, to stay home if kid is sick etc etc.
However, I do think the children are the cause of the woman not being in a high-income bracket, which just means that many highly educated, intelligent women may choose to forgo their earning potential in order to have kids. So, its not just uneducated, poor women 'breeding'.
And some studies say that kids cost on average $480,000 each to raise to 18 years, so yeah they do make you poor!
But in the end, whats important? What do you value? If theres a more important job in the world than raising kids, I'd like to hear it. Shame it's not more highly regarded in our materialistic, me-first society.

Chicago Girl
30-09-06, 05:39 AM
My 2.2 cents worth...

I have been reading this thread with interest and thinking a lot about my situation and life decisions...which is great.

I will be (*touch wood*) one of those women CateH described...the mid-30s first time Mum....why will I be that statistic?

I was a poor student for a long time, then I wanted to start a career to be able to support myself and eat something other than peanut butter sandwiches for dinner. Then it took me until about 30 to find some else I could live with for longer than 6 months and had the same 'wants' out of life. One of the first converations with my now husband went something like "Hi my name is Carla, what is your favourite colour, do you like animals, do you want to have kids?"

(there are a lot of b@$t@rds out there and weeding through them all can take a while)

In answer to Wyndara...people with kids work full-time, usually because they can't afford not to. The cost of living is so high now. I know we won't be able to afford for me to not work for very long after we have a child, or we will lose the house. I also know I enjoy working, so it will be important for me to remain centred, intellectually stimulated and for my self-esteem to go back into the work force in some capacity.

Why do I want to have kids?...because I have "the urge"...I am very clucky around my niece (not may other children, but this one is blood). I am also a bit of an egotist. I used to work in a lovely area of greater Melbourne, where I would see the breeding ferals (sorry, but that is what they are) demonstrating my taxes at work, stoned outside the local Maccas with three grubby brats in various states of undress and distress. I owe it to the world to leave my legacy and balance their contribution out a bit. That is a blunter version of what GG was talking about. I also believe I have a bit to offer in raising responsible human beings and I do love a challenge. I'm up for it. My sister can do it...so can I.

How will we really afford this?..heaven knows, but I can tell you I am more likely to afford it now than 10 years ago when I was still a student... My employer loves me, so maternity leave and returning to work will just be a matter of negotiation.

Anyway, I squarely blame society for making life so much more complicated and the pressure to be "super woman who has it all and maintains her sanity"

CG

travers
30-09-06, 05:45 AM
In answer to mandybale's question, Sunday and GG, can you define why you had kids? Were there any specific reasons other than the natural urge most women feel to reproduce?
Would you feel any more comfortable with having kids if it meant going against the common good re: all of the socio economic reasons GG has stated, or if meant your were in the minority (like myself)?
These are not loaded questions BTW, I'm genuinely interested. Like I've said before, I have a lot of personal reasons to support not having kids myself, but it's still a relatively easy decision because I simply don't have the instinctual drive (might be missing some hormones? :) ).

Bella
30-09-06, 05:48 AM
LOL! im to scared to have kids now and to scared not to have kids!! might go live in a cave somewhere !

Chicago Girl
30-09-06, 05:58 AM
Bella...=)

Lots of reasons to be scared.

But I am at the point "if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't." We have stopped being careful. Undoubtedly, it will happen *now* because hubby and I are planning a 'world trip' next June...just do the math..;)

I have a girlfriend who had to pay for IVF treatment, she had gone through so many rounds. I was scared to mention or talk about any "soon to be mums" as she would end up in tears (exacerbated by the drugs, mind you).

I don't ever want to be like that. If I do, I will seriously think about adoption...so many unwanted babies out there, makes me sad.

CG

Fi Fi
30-09-06, 07:35 AM
I'm one of those women who was earning a reasonably high income and didn't decide to have children until I was 32 (which really isn't that old nowadays). OH and I have been married for 22 years in December. He always wanted kids - I didn't. Then one day I got sick of the whole stressy career thing, chucked it in, worked for myself for a while and got pregnant with my daughter first go. Three years later we decided we would like another child. Took me ages to get pregnant (about 12 months), I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and so began the whole series of dramas including 4 miscarriages.

In the end we gave up and decided to be thankful for our one beautiful daughter. Now I have people judging me all the time about my only child (ie how could you, she must be so lonely, she will be spoilt rotten etc etc). So - you can't win with some people.

Oh - and while I would never tell people what to do with their lives, I think mine is a bit of a cautionary tale for those hoping to be 35 plus mothers. After exhaustive tests, they never did find out why I was unable to retain another preganancy - all they could tell me was that both OH and I were in perfect working order. Just be aware that the best laid plans don't always work out and good luck to anyone embarking on the fabulous journey of motherhood.

blackhorse
30-09-06, 07:42 AM
My thing is I have just never had the urge, even fleetingly. I'm not good at small helpless things. Don't go gooey over puppies or kittens till they pass those first few weeks either. So having a child would always have been an intellectual decison, not a biological one. I have been married for 25 years, so it isn't for lack of a mate :)

But I'm all right with older ones (kids) that you can read "with" etc.

I always said when I was younger the sort of child I wanted would come to me about at 20 or so, self supporting etc. Well it happened :) Next year I am to become a "grandmother" too. Pseudo child reckons this will "cure" me of my issue with babies. It won't, but the issue of a suitable mount for me to teach it to ride on has already become a topic of conversation.

Does this make me regret in any way? No. I really really can't understand the urge. To me it's like say bungee jumping - never had the urge to do that either.

So I can feel sorry for those that are consumed by it but whose bodies won;t co-operate, but will never fully understand what they go through emotionally.

shelbyparkstud
30-09-06, 07:48 PM
As an aside, a couple of years ago I lost an ovary.

When I told my mother she was so upset - "but you will still be able to have kids, won't you?". I merrily told her that the other one was poly cystic, so probably no :7

When I told my mother-in-law the same news, she was overjoyed! She doesn't like kids and has stated on many occasions "I love my boys, but I only had children because I'm Catholic". LOL!!!

Shelly

sunday
01-10-06, 05:20 AM
Why did I (or anyone else) have kids? Well, because I wanted them, is the simplest answer. At 23 I got accidently pregnant, but was very happy nonetheless and fell in love with babies and being a mum. I also never wanted to be 35, no kids, starting to think what if I never have them, also no grandkids, how sad. For me (though obviously not for everyone), it would be a sad life with no children or grandchildren, and no amount of wealth in other ways could make up for it.
However I do believe that you cannot expect women to answer that question as if it were the same as 'why do you live in the city not the country?' 'why do you drive that type of car / like that breed of horse?'
Because children, and the want of them, are so much more than a 'lifestyle' choice. Wanting children is a natural impulse, such as our sex drive, our need for companionship, etc etc. It is often something we cannot control, because it is how nature made us. To say we 'shouldn't' have children if it goes against the common good, or for whatever reason, is denying the extremely powerful biological instincts in (nearly) all of us, and putting them on a par with 'what career shall I choose?' or similar ultimately superficial choice.
Hence the desperation and grief of childless women (and men) who spend $1000 on IVF (which has a very low success rate, particularly in over 35s), and the genuine regret from many women who never got around or had the chance to have children, either because of their career or because they never realised until it was too late that they might have missed out on the most important thing of all.

gg_vice
01-10-06, 06:42 AM
One thing I'd likt to point out about what I've written on this topic, is that people have taken offense at my pigeon-hole-ing them. With statistical data they basically put in all together, get an average to give a demographic profile. This 'profile' is an average, I have yet to see a family with 1.8 children in it.

twinpines
01-10-06, 01:10 PM
I'm approaching forty now and have my children and everthing is peaches. One thing though that I was surprised at when I went to my OB when I first fell pregnant (mid Thirties) was to be told I was OLD reproductively speaking. Well I never, I thought to myself! Anyhow that combines with a few other things meant the OB was surprised himself when I said I fell rightaway. Second child was also concieved rightaway so somehow everything was working fine despite his misgivings. Actually concieving was about all I could do properly. If I was a brood mare I would have been sacked! Old age meant everything was more complicated.

You see, I held off having kids till I felt we were financially OK thinking, in my ignorance, that bearing children is something all women could do well into thier forties. The sad truth is after 35 you chances of conceiving have severly diminished.

According to figures from the Mayo Clinic, 'a woman's fertility is highest around age 20. Typically, fertility drops 20 percent after age 30, 50 percent after age 35, and 95 percent after age 40. After age 40, reproductive function diminishes drastically: Half of a woman's eggs are chromosomally abnormal at age 40; by 42, that figure is 90 percent. And should an older woman get pregnant, her chance of miscarriage increases to more than 50 percent by her late 40s. Even the most advanced fertility treatments can't reverse such reproductive decline. As recently as a decade ago, fertility specialists were much more optimistic about first pregnancies at midlife, given improved overall fitness and advances in reproductive medicine. Now these specialists—and a generation of women—have found instead that certain aspects of fertility are much more intractable than they thought.'

NO-ONE TOLD ME THIS!!! It was all a BIG secret.

I was lucky as I had no trouble but I can't imagine how sad I would have been if I couldn't have conceived. I suppose I would have adopted.....

Anyway, my point is that if anyone is reading this thread and wants children but is putting it off, please think long and hard about the above facts. If you want kids, then just DO IT! The rest will always sort itself out.

I don't this to be a secret anymore!

Don't waste the eggs and may they all go 1st strike!

sunday
02-10-06, 03:29 AM
I so agree, twinpines. It is a bit of a secret, isn't it? I wish there was more education in the way of : 'have 'em early, especially if you want more than one!' Instead it seems young women are told ' don't have kids young, have a career first, travel, get financially secure', and its seen as a mistake if you get pregnant before age 25.
How about having babies FIRST then do the career, travel thing later? At least there's not a cut off point for those things like there is with your eggs (and apparently sperm too deteriorates with age, with studies showing higher rates of genetic defects in kids to older fathers).
I have an older sister, she's 37 this year. She was the 'smart one' of the family, did years of Uni, got her Bachelor, Honours etc is now a Marine Biologist, writes articles for the Lonely Planet guides. She has a long-time boyfriend, but so far it hasn't been the 'right time' to have kids. I just hope she doesn't end up on that IVF rollercoaster, because out of the 2 of us she was the one with dolls and baby borns, while I was the tomboy.

travers
02-10-06, 03:51 AM
I think that's the thing, we've evolved socially very quickly but biologically we are no different than women generations back.
I agree with you Sunday, that if you want kids the earlier the better.

gg_vice
02-10-06, 11:00 AM
Well, I'm an anomally. I did my BAppSc and Hons and had four kids while doing it, and all after the age of 30.
There is supposedly an inverse correlation between the education levels of women and the number of children they have.
I think the social message has to be that Mothering is an extremely important occupation, and needs to be recognised as such ( and by the Government by recognising stay-at home-mothers), and that children are societies most valuable asset ( not screaming brats in the supermarket or an inconvenience when you are out to Dinner). Some societies see children as a community responsibilty and that everyone is responsible for raising well adjusted individuals who make a positive contribution to society.
Bored yet?

blackhorse
02-10-06, 11:42 AM
No GG, because anything that gives me a few mintues respite from being knee deep spending my long weekend trying to sort out the year end accounts for an audit client that has essentially *&^^%$#&^%( up all the records of the last year and the person responsible has done a bunk has to be of at least passing interest :).

Ok, I don't fit into the demographic of those that have not had children because they can't fit them in. I'm simply one of those that even in a traditional setting would have only produced because there was no way of avoiding it. I would have been quite happy being the maiden aunt (apart from the maiden bit).

However, the problem is a deep seated one (the dwindling number of children) that is not going to be fixed by simply exhorting us to have 2 plus one for the country. Our current society has developed over centuries and the fact that many of those who on the face of it should be producing (less money pressure, more education) simply stopped or reduced, or delayed till it was a problem as soon as there was a simple way of prevention shows that the "valuable resource and community treasure" has not been part of our norm for a long time. Women were just waiting for a way to get out of the rut.

The problem won't be solved until the underlying reasons for it are solved. Whether that be a genuines recognition of the importance of motherhood, not just lip service, a way in which women who now usually live as sepparate units from the extended family where aunts, mothers, grandmothers, even granddads etc were around to help can have a support network that frees them from 24 hour childcare 9and they don;t have to take them to the supermarket to annoy the rest of us!), where, having been relieved of the necessity to just work to keep food on the table and a roof over the head and actually get some sort of intellectual stimulation as well as be good mothers, and where if you want a career you are not held back by having children early as there is support to help you manage both. And that fatherhood be recognised such that fathers can share the care and both can have time out from career and not feel they have comitted career suicide!

I don't know what the answer is, i just know doomsaying and chucking a few thousand dollars as a birth bonus it will not significantly change things.

mandybale
02-10-06, 12:15 PM
So agree with the having them whilst still youngish. Unless of course circumstances dictate. I was 24 when I had my first and I had my 2nd a year later, my thinking was to have them while I was still young and have 2 close together to get it all over and done with as soon as possible. My parents had 4 kids, over the space of 10 years, I was the last and my mum was 31 when she had me (considered passed it in those days!), anyway, it seemed an awful long time for my parents to be worrying about nappies and kids stuff!! now my kids are getting older I am now finding a new found freedom, I can now trust them to stay at home while I go shopping or even go for a ride. I feel like I'm getting my life back now which is fantastic. another 8 years and we can kick them out totally!! I too never had a maternal bone in my body when I had mine, I didn't even know how to hold my first let alone change a nappy!! its been fun though and a big learning curve, and I love my kids to bits, don't really care for other peoples kids, and i'd rather be out riding!!!lol!! I'd even planned my mare to foal 6 months before I had my first so I'd have a nice young horse to train when the kids were old enough to go to nursery!!

gg_vice
02-10-06, 01:13 PM
Bravo, Blackhorse! :-)

Zorro
02-10-06, 03:28 PM
Corporations can borrow money, buy land.. .buy other corporations, take you to court and screw you….They have all human rights but they do not have conscience. All they care about is “bottom line”.

Kids are last human beings left on the planet with charisma.

Anyone who gives his intelligence to corporation in preference to kids is being used and robed of human rights. Bad parents=bad next generation. And yes mothers are undervalued.

What is the answer?

Make your own arrangements or use corporation to satisfy your needs. Take a sicky! Tell the boss he or she lost weight. Do whatever it takes to stay in charge of your own life, kids or no kids.

Too many people live in big empty houses because they are “winners”, and some corporation sells them new fridge from car radio in traffic on way home from another day given to “corporation”.

After you gave all-important things away for free…..your government will tell you:
Congratulations, your house is worth million dollars. (Sucker).
At least make sure you ride a horse if that is where your passion is.

The only problem I have is that I put on some weight after second babe.
Zorro.
PS.I am going camping with my sons soon and don’t give a $hit about anything else. Hopefully I will never learn to put a price on it.

yaears
03-10-06, 01:33 AM
It must be very hard to make the decision if one has a successful career etc.. I love my kids and would never have swapped our life for all the household crap from China and Japan .We did without heaps but not love and loyalty. I love seeing the kids grown into sane caring individuals .
Never mind the low income population out breeding everyone..it might be the migrants who show that one can be well educated,well housed etc because they have familys who help each other.

blackhorse
03-10-06, 01:56 AM
That depends on where they are from, and it often does not last beyond the first born here generation. It's not an Australian problem, or a caucasian problem or a christian problem, its a problem of advanced technologically based socites no matter where they are located and is the result of a miriard little changes since we first crawled out of the primordial slime and maybe we are just going the way of the dinosoaurs?

If the big bang does not get us, we will may not kill ourselves off by overpopulating and global warming afterall but by gradually dieing out. (Too much Orwell in my diet I think!)

(Yes, I am still struggling to un puzzle my puzzle whilst looking at the ponies out the window - at this point never mind carreer, retirement looks pretty good LOL. I am giving up to go and brush some youngsters got to do some stuff other than staring at spreadsheets for the weekend).

sunday
03-10-06, 02:46 AM
" The only problem I have is that I put on weight after second babe. "

Zorro, someone should have told you that breast-feeding is the best way to regain your figure.

gg_vice
03-10-06, 05:03 AM
*GASP* Geez, Sunday! Don't tell Zorro That!!!

Zorro
03-10-06, 05:41 AM
Some of those young mums in sitting trot make me feel like breast-feeding.
Oh, well, have to say dressage has its moments once looking for new talents.

Zorro

CateH
03-10-06, 07:16 AM
LOLS @ Zorro }> You're a bad bad man, and you will go to hell! :7

BTW how did you / your house survive the storm last week? We spent the day in your local pub once our power went out - was very pleasant as there were no tourists for a change :)

I'm a childless person for medical reasons - but don't know if I'd have had them anyway. How do I justify my use of oxygen? Well, I sponsor a kid in India... a little girl. At least if I can't have my own I can help out one of the under-privileged of the world. I don't think my genes are that special that the world will miss them, but sociologically speaking I am attempting to support the growth of future generations, whether its through being an aunty and legal guardian, or my sponsorship. For $29 a month you can ensure a childs life is made better..... FFT?




"Reason to Smile #1: Every 7 mintues of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring."

Zorro
03-10-06, 10:22 AM
CateH,
Why am I a bad man?
I just focus on important and pretty things in life. I don’t want end up with dry dreams and wet farts like so many others.

Storm was ok. I went down the mountain and had some great fish and rose.

My pub is better than yours.
Zorro

crafty25
03-10-06, 10:44 AM
well well some diff opinions here!

I am a single mum 25yrs old with a 5 year old and a fulltime job.

We get up in the morning at 5am go work horsie while kiddy sits in tack room and draws etc... (yes there are allways people around to keep and eye on her)

then we come home get dressed take kiddy to school go to work, run round like blue assed fly during lunch break buying feed etc paying bills.

Knock off work pick kiddy up go feed horsie come home cook tea, put kiddy to bed and start house work...

Then the next day we do it all again.

If I could afford to I wouldn't work fulltime I would work part time in school hours only, BUT I decided a little while ago that I am no longer going to sit around and wait for a male to buy a house with etc etc.

So Tay suffers through at the moment while mum is flat out. I make sure that each day of the weekend we spend 2 hours doing what she wants to do she gets to choose.

Basically I'm trying to set us up for the future so if in the short term I have to work flat out to get there so that when she is 15 and wants her own horse or wants to go buy billabong skirts I can afford it without having to explain to the other half why I need the money for this or that....

Yvette

*The adventures of the unknowledgeable Benny an Me*

DB
03-10-06, 11:39 AM
OK - here's why I had kids. I loved my husband, and we wanted small things to add to ur joy, even though we waited 6 years after we were married - till we were ready.

This is the other reason

DEFINITION OF SUCCESS - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To laugh often and much.
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest entities and endure the betrayel of false friends,
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a better place, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

twinpines
03-10-06, 01:41 PM
I'm feeling pretty happy today cos we finally met our new neighbours and Yay! They have kids too!!! All are about our about kids age. BIGGEST hooray is because as we pulled up in their driveway, they were in the process of taking the kids for a ride on their new pony!!!

Needless to say I was very glad to hear mum was a rider and was also keen to get back in the saddle. They seem really nice and I think this could be very good for both kids and mums!!!

Watching all the kids run around and play after only knowing each other for a matter of minutes was so precious. I highly recommend it to anyone! That's what life is all about.