View Full Version : why do we bother..

07-04-01, 12:52 PM
I'm really starting to wonder why we bother!! I put my horses needs before own all the time and I'm really starting to wonder why.
My horse is being absolutley awful, he's been bad mannered and dumped me today.When he's good, he's fantastic but when he's bad, he's dreadful.
I'm just at my wits end today sitting miserable and sore. I really need some reasons to get and work him tomorrow.

07-04-01, 02:01 PM
Horses can be like people, the nicer you are to them the more they take advantage of you. Set some parameters and they respect you for it. But some horses and people just dont deserve your time.

08-04-01, 12:29 AM
..and to add to that... some horses and people just don't get on... I spent four frustrating years with my last mare battling every step of the way, and she now gets on beautifully with her new owner - perhaps I asked too much of her..or I think our PMT's clashed!!! ;-)
either way..I now have a beautiful boy who I wouldn't swap for the world, and he's a delight to ride and be around..
don't waste your time on a horse that doesn't deserve you! There's plenty around that do.

08-04-01, 04:13 AM
I agree, thereare plenty of betta horses iout there for you. I have a feind whose had her horse for ten years, and he's broken just about every bone in her body. Anywayz, she's just decided to sell him, but no one wants to buy him. What to do.

08-04-01, 08:24 AM
Hey Caroline! Haven't heard from you for ages!
Is your boys foot problem fixed? I hope it is,
Cheers, Alydar

08-04-01, 10:05 AM
well I did get up and work him and he was quite good, worked quite nicely after 20 minutes of work. He is just acting like a young horse (which he is) and i should just accept it and keep rolling with the punches but, it's so hard some days.

08-04-01, 10:21 AM
I know this isnt the same as your problem, but I just want to know why horses have this knack for making you feel miserable when they have the same capasity to make you feel wonderful.
It seems that everything goes just great, until you have entered that big show and paid all the entries.
Then WHAM!!! all the work goes down the drain, your horse hurts itself, pulls up lame, injures its muscles. And your left feeling miserable.
I have no idea how many times this has happened int he last 3 years, I must be on a streak of bad luck.
Sorry guys, feeling like S*** and just need to vent out my frustration.
QH Nationals around the corner and "the horse" has decided AGAIN that he probably really doesnt want to go.:-(
OK I've had my cry, its back to the drawing board. Horses huh, wouldnt be without them.:-)

08-04-01, 11:37 AM
I probably shouldn't reply to this thread because I feel very angry about what has been said so far. But my buttons have been pushed and I just have to have my say.

When are people going to stop blaming the horse for their troubles? Unless your horse jumped into the float and demanded to be taken home to your place when you went looking for a horse to buy, you owe the horse everything and he owes you nothing. It was not his choice to be your horse, so it becomes your responsibility solely to get along with your horse and not his to get along with you.

Frustrated, if you are having problems with the horse it is because you don't understand his needs and are not working in a way that he can cope. Your horse is trying to do his best, but you probably (without knowing it) cause his instincts of self preservation to come forth and protect him from you and your demands.

Despite the belief of many, horses are not mean. They don't have evil agendas. They don't take advantage of you (as somebody suggested). They don't lie, cheat or try to beat you at anything. Horses simply try to find safety and comfort and if you don't meet that need for them, they'll do what they think they need to do to feel safe and comfortable. This is not airy-fairy BS. It is just a basic description of how horses behave.

I wish people would stop blaming the horses for what are really our failings as horse people. I don't know any horse (including my own) that ever gets the owner they truly deserve.

Judith NZ
08-04-01, 11:52 AM
DG I know where you are coming from. I have a lovely young WB that was just going beautifully and then started to go 'off' Shoulder In went out the window and just didn't to go right. Got sore in her hindquarters. Why??? Damn feet. Heels collapsing. Its been over 2 months now and I am sooo frustrated. It seems like eternity!!
Despite remedial shoeing, massage,heat treatments etc we are still battling. Heels take time unfortunately but I am so frustrated. Just when I think she is coming right again and I up her work abit bam there she goes again sore muscles/going short etc :-( I can't compete. I can't even do much schooling GRhhhhh!! so my season is over.

I know I shouldn't complain as I know Caroline has been battling similar problems for a lot longer than me but I still need to vent.
grrrrhhh B horses.
And just so Rogilla dosen't get the wrong Idea I am not blaming the horse,the farrier or anyone or thing else for that matter. Just a bitch of nature--- and I love the horse. :-) Just a bitch about the heels. :-)

08-04-01, 12:38 PM
Rogilla, why do "we" bother is the better question. Sometimes we all need to get on the inside of our horses and look out, but not many here will take the time to digest that, especially for what it's worth to the horse!

08-04-01, 01:08 PM
Horses don't try to take advantage of yot?
Rogilla are you sure about that?
I thought part of herd behaviour was trying to get to the top of the pecking order?
How does a horse get to the top of the pecking order if it doesn't exploit other members of the herds weaknesses?
Correct me if Im wrong but herd heirarchy isnt a popularity contest. Horses need to know who's boss and in the horse-human relationship it must be the human. Like I said in my earlier post set some parameters and the horse will respect you for it. I never suggested that we all go out and beat the living daylights out of our horses.
I agree with a lot of what you said. A lot of conflict is the result of bad comunication the horse is often in turmoil because it doesnt understand what is requied of it or like Judith said conflict can even be caused through physical problems where the horse is in discomfort. Quite often though problems arise because the horse doesnt know who is the boss. People wanting to be nice to their horse pussy foot around them and send them the wrong message. A horse doesn't move out of the way for another horse lower down the pecking order, but how often do people move out of their horses way sending them the wrong message?

08-04-01, 01:48 PM
So glad that you feel this way, I too was
getting cheezed off with all these letters
from so called horse lovers, only to read
how their horse doesn't meet their expectations,
and how they have to sell them.

My horse was rescued by my husband from being
put down at 3 years old, he gave him to me when
he was 8, and now he is 24. He is on agistment
with a wonderful family who take care of him and
he is one of the family, we pay them for this,
because I never want my horse to go to the doggers. To me, this is the only way I can
ensure this, as I live in surburbia.(unfortunatly)

Now I am assured that he will have a restful
retirement, not starving, or cold in a small
paddock. He is on 40 acres, and pampered daily.

This is the commitment that I feel to any animal
that comes to my home.

08-04-01, 02:44 PM
I know the feeling as I had a lovely Warmblood mare who was simply too difficult and after battling her serious behavioural problems (absolutely blind panicked bucking stemming from things as innocuous as brushing a fly from my face whilst riding her), she finally dumped me one day quite badly in a lesson and something snapped and I went out and bought a new horse within two weeks.

Sold the mare to people who are slowly bringing her on (she has always had these problems stemming from breaking-in and a genetically bad temperament) and are much better with her than me, and I'm having an absolute ball with my new Warmblood mare who is stress free (she certainly gives me moments, but I can go for a ride on the road or take her to a show without too much fuss and bother).

I agree Rogilla that horses have no hidden agenda but sometimes it's a lot kinder to both parties for them to part ways.

09-04-01, 06:48 AM
Read the post on Lunging young horses - to play or not to play.
It's so important to know the moment when a young horse is ready to accept mentally to be ridden.

If this subtle body language is not read by the trainer or ignored - then to go ahead and ride the horse can be asking for big trouble.

Too many people are injured doing this.

Caroline (Guest)
10-04-01, 08:42 AM
Rogilla, interestingly, the mare to which I referred had been spoilt rotten by her previous owner, and I found out after I had bought the horse that she had actually been scared of the horse. The horse reared when you tried to lead it, and when it finished rearing it would charge at you. Try riding it anywhere away from it's paddock and it would rear and run backwards.
I gained some help from an instructor who was into the Parelli methods and Phil Rodey methods, and we eventually got through these problems.
This mare was used to being the boss and tried all she could to establish that dominant role with me, however, I was not going to be defeated.
Most people's general opinion was that I should 'dog' the horse. I didn't and persisted for four years to turn that horse into a nice horse, which eventually happened.
But yes, I do believe our personalities clashed.

Caroline (Guest)
10-04-01, 08:48 AM
Hey alydar! the feet are on the mend... excellent farrier and custom shoes... horse is going from strength to strength! it's sheer bliss...
...Judith NZ it does get better... I may photograph his feet and shoes to see if your horse could help with this type of shoe..

reilly (Guest)
10-04-01, 09:07 AM
I know the feeling - some days it just doesn't seem worth it!!!
I do everything I possibly can for my osses, neglecting my broken foot and my aching shoulder and my very sore thumb (got pulled back the wrong way), all I ask is my horse do the work I ask of him (for about 1 hr every day). i believe that you do the right thing by the horse and then you can expect them to do the right thing by you. BUT THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN!!!!! But I guess thats why we love them - we never know what to expect!!!

Sassy (Guest)
10-04-01, 09:11 AM
Craig, I agree with you wholeheartedly. So logical!

To get your partnership working right, you need to think like a horse and act like one - human emotions are far too complicated to the horse's psyche, and we shouldn't attribute their behaviours to human like reasoning.

They don't have the concept of good and evil - they just react on instict - survival of the fittest.

11-04-01, 06:15 AM
its funny that the concept of 'survival of the fittest' IS human reasoning, in fact all of our thought processes and concepts are!