PDA

View Full Version : help writing complaint letter regarding not very nice person at PC



foxni483
04-11-08, 08:06 AM
help writing complaint letter regarding not very nice mother at Pony Club

Hi

At the moment I am writing a complaint letter about a not very nice person at our local PC
Who harrassed me in front of a whole PC rally, accussing me of something i didn't do or say.

I am 22 and she had me in tears she is that much of a bitch, she has done this many times before, and everyone has always said to leave it, not let her get the better of me etc.
But i have snapped (so to speak) I have had enough of being made to feel like crap and not want to go to PC as i am entitled to so I'm making a complaint, to our PC branch, and possibly to area.

Has anyone done a complaint letter?
I'm not really sure what to say, I have written what happened at how i felt. and put things in from the PC harrassment free sport policy etc

Has anyone had any success with doing something like this?
I feel that PC rules are there, but if broken nothing will happen

Descalzo
04-11-08, 09:47 AM
Be factual, do not make it all about you how horrible it was.

Sit back and read it, does it sound whiney or does it sound legimate as a 'whole' club concern.

In front of everyone has an effect on the entire club feeling, focus on that.

Hope that is some help.

foxni483
04-11-08, 10:14 AM
ok there are a couple winey bits (me sticking up for me)

but more about how others should not have been treated like that

with some on how people at our club are effected, and why something should be done

thanks

Horses4keeps
04-11-08, 11:36 AM
Think about having a few positive points in the letter and ensure that it is apparent that your complaint is being made in the attempt to have a positive outcome ie: you enjoy PC, have learnt a lot & get a lot out of PC and feel it is a shame that your enjoyment etc is being significantly affected by the actions of one individual and you feel she is letting the PC and its members down and PC should be a fun, enjoyable and supportive environ where criticism is constructive and not delivered in a malicious/mischevious way and but for this individual, your PC is such a place.

If you genuinely feel she is being a bully, then use the word 'bully' as bullying tends to get people's attention.

Remember, workplace philosophy in regrds to inappropriate behaviour is to use language like... "when #### criticises/makes comments about me/to me, I feel....bullied/bad about myself/really upset". This type of phrasing is apparently the least 'blaming' in that it states factually how someone's action affects you. Some people really are unaware that they have this affect on others, so the first step is to make them aware, adressing it constructively and if eventually nothing changes, taking the next step.

shaiarabs
04-11-08, 12:21 PM
make sure you highlight actual rules that she broke and how she broke them

Commander
04-11-08, 01:29 PM
Try to keep it short and to the point - if it goes over a page then it's too long. Keep it as formal as possible ie. don't call her a 'bitch'.
If other people are aware of her over-the-top behaviour there might be some kind of resolution but if she's carried on like this a lot then it's possible that the people in charge of your club will be reluctant to pull her into line.
I hope it works out, it sounds like a terrible confrontation. In my experience, when people really carry on in an antisocial way there is usually something bigger going on in their lives, that doesn't excuse it, but it might explain it.
Good luck.

mindari
04-11-08, 02:49 PM
if you still feel you need advice there is no place better than dialing 1223 and ask for the phone number of pony club nsw.

they will give u the phone number and its a free call. over the years and i think its all too much these ladies are wonderfull to ask how to draft it and which rules to include that relate.

good luck. needs more of it. our club has only just voted in a new set of rules



Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur

chas2
04-11-08, 04:06 PM
Hi there
Having been involved in PC and with kids in it for some time I am sorry to say I know exactly what you have been facing.
It happens in all groups of people but here it is PC.
It seems some people cannot help themselves in being derogative and cruel to others, and take joy in doing it in public where it is near impossible to retaliate if you're a decent person - as it seems you are.
And retaliating or even replying only takes you own to their miserable level anyway.
As others have said take time to draft a complaint to the Committee, if they have grievance procedure or rules in place get a copy and study them.
If I can help in any way just call - I despise bullies.
Cheers

foxni483
04-11-08, 04:42 PM
i have done it

I put the rules etc at the start - are more policys than rules

But our PC branch put a rule in place that parents/adults are not allowed to yell at/tell off/ talk to etc riders, and that they have to call president who does something if she thinks it is necessary.
This rule was put in place a while ago as she rung and abused me about the PC newsletter I made as the picture of her daughter was not jumping a big enough jump (apparently she cried - and she was 13 at the time, yeah right she cried) I had even told her if she wantéd something specific in it she was to email me pic/drop in letter box. I hung up on her then as she just wouldn't listen.

I swear it is like hitting your head against a brick wall

and she doesn't have anything 'bigger' wrong with her in my opinion - my Psyc major has taught me what is wrong with her is that she is a
B I T C H and egocentric (only thinks about self).

I have emailed it to the secretary to take to the meeting, and to the president also (I did my complaint correctly lol).

The thing that gets me is that the only way our PC can recover from not enough members is to get rid of her, and it seems like it is almost impossible.
I have 'suggested' in my letter that further action be taken, as the rule has not worked. And mentioned the yellow card system that can be used. BUT it takes two yellow cards in a year (impossible!) and they are hard enough to get!
She has driven away so many people over the last couple years. and the other things like putting herself in charge of teams and picking her kids and her friends kids first.

I know that all PC have one (or more) but I'm so sick of it!

the only reason my sister and I go to this PC is because it is walking distance, has all weather surface and you can use the jumps any time.

OMG that was a bit of a rant sorry

edited to add:

I was good and did not call her a bitch, just 'harrasser' and bully, I didn't actually name her either, but they are discussing her at the meeting (I can't go I have an exam the next day).

It is 1 1/2 pages, but in larger prints for all the blind parents lol

_Freckles_
04-11-08, 05:37 PM
Are you keeping a diary and logging her behaviour ? Would you be able get others to coroberate ? Those people who left PC might be great to get written statements off, explaining that this individuals behaviour they found to be so disrupting etc they could not enjoy the club anymore.

Bet you 10 bucks - if you make the right kind of noise in front of the right kind of people, this little speedhump in your life will be out on their arse.....

http://www.nzpca.org/new/nzpca/committee.php

joeybum
04-11-08, 06:57 PM
hey there

i had exactly the same thing said to me by a man at my PC and me and my mum (im 16 but was 14 at the time) wrote a letter to the commitee and was brought up in one of those general meetings.
It put a bad word out for this man and his wife and they ended up leaving the club.

But he had me in tears and i was so frightened of him and that no way to be specially when being at pony club should be an enjoyable experience!!

Good luck! if you put this to the PC commitee stand your ground and make everyone aware of the bitch she really is!

Joeybum

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q183/katie3111/joeee.jpg

joeybum
04-11-08, 06:58 PM
hey there

i had exactly the same thing said to me by a man at my PC and me and my mum (im 16 but was 14 at the time) wrote a letter to the commitee and was brought up in one of those general meetings.
It put a bad word out for this man and his wife and they ended up leaving the club.

But he had me in tears and i was so frightened of him and that no way to be specially when being at pony club should be an enjoyable experience!!

Good luck! if you put this to the PC commitee stand your ground and make everyone aware of the bitch she really is!

Joeybum

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q183/katie3111/joeee.jpg

ALLIE
04-11-08, 10:35 PM
NZ PCA have a good process for complaints or policy breach(I think you are in NZ are you not?). I'm surprised you didn't follow their very clear guidelines or call them to gain some assistance prior to writing.

What I love about the equestrian sport in NZ is the pragmatism that is evident in most of the societies and bodies representing the sport in NZ.

If your grievance is genuine and you have communicated in non-emotional language then you have a good chance of having your complaint dealt with professionally and efficiently.

However, if you are merely having an emotional rant because something or somebody upset you - expect to be hung out to dry.

Sweet_Savannah
05-11-08, 10:06 AM
I second Freckles suggestion RE:writing stuff down in a diary.

We did that at the retail place where I used to work. Our new manager *Tessa was bludging like you wouldn't believe. We would get frustrated, but because she was the manager we didn't know who to complain to and if we went to head office then we didn't know exactly what we were going to say.

So we had a little group meeting about the Tessa situation and decided to keep a diary of what she does during the day. One of the days went like this.

9am-10.30am chatted on her mobile phone to a friend out the back of the shop
10.30-10.45am went out for a cigarette
10.45-11.15am went to Sportsgirl and tried on clothes for her upcoming birthday party
11.15-11.30am went for another cigarette
11.30-11.45am came back and announced she was going on her 15 minute break (break from WHAT?!?!)
11.45am-12.15pm came back from her break with a smoothie and went out the back to drink her smoothie and chat on her mobile some more.
12.15-12.45pm came out and served customers while telling us that we could be doing our jobs so much better - hmm cos you so are?
12.45-1.45pm went on her 1hr lunch break (again... break from WHAT?!?!)
1.45pm-2pm had a cigarette break
2-2.45pm went and had a SPRAY TAN (WTF???) for her birthday party the next night

and on and on it went...

That was her worst day, but her "good" days weren't that much better with her ducking out for cigarettes and chatting on her mobile phone while me and the other girl rostered on tried to do the work of three people! It was ridiculous! Anyways, we gave the diary to head office and they called her in to discuss the situation. Their response was pretty much "Elect to resign or we will fire you." so obviously she resigned. Apparently she now manages a boutique - God only knows how that's working out! But yeah a diary can go a long way!

Anubis
05-11-08, 02:24 PM
A diary is a lawyer's best friend...we don't have many others ;)

Do your letter...make it "in sorrow rather than anger". If you sound angry it can detract. be cold but let people know the conduct is inappropriate and hurtful.

Let the ponyclub know that you find it personally devastating to be singled out and harassed in this way. Ask them for their help in resolving it and suggest that it reflects poorly on them to let it continue.

Go the diary big time:

On x day of x month madam x approached me and said words to the effect of XXXXXXXXX, she did this in front of XXXXXXX children.

Get the idea :)

Give me pm if you need a hand

cheers
Anubis

foxni483
05-11-08, 07:56 PM
yeah ALLIE

they have the yellow card thing

has only just started, and hasn't been used where we are at all
I don't think they would be very keen to use it either

genuine grievence, Is not just a one off rant.

_Freckles_
05-11-08, 08:06 PM
"I don't think they would be very keen to use it either"

Maybe they would if your situation matched a similar one that has happened elsewhere, which has resulted in one of these yellowcards -
Hopefully a precedent has been set elsewhere for similar behaviour, and your club will have no choice but to follow that precedent....