View Full Version : Do you want the man in your life involved with your horses?

06-03-00, 04:39 PM
When I started out in 'serious' horses my husband knew nothing what so ever about them. He progressed from towing the float for me to painting the feet and then to riding the quiet pony. Took him some time to wake up that feet painting was the job that nobody wanted but it took a lot of praise and numerous tins of Blackit before he tumbled to the fact that he had been 'scammed'.
He did show after show for years and was my best and worst critic. The number of silent trips home in the car because he had dared to criticise a workout out that I thought was pretty good. I almost did my trademark flounce off one time but realised we were in Adelaide and home was in Melbourne! LOL. For someone who did not know the back end from the front when we met, he developed an excellent eye for a horse.
What about the rest of you? Are the partners interested? Do you want them to be?

06-03-00, 09:52 PM
YES ! My husband and I run a horse business together, and we have a unique relationship where we can 'bounce' things of each other. I would have to say we complement each other eg in certain area he is hugely more competent than me, and visa versa. (eg. getting on the nut cases) (him that is NOT me) mind you thats no mean effort considering he is on the riper side of 55 ! But we do eat live and breath our horses and sometimes I wonder if it makes us a little tunnel vision, (although I do enjoy the share market!) The only problem is more often than not our holidays are taken apart, as sometimes it is far to difficult for both to be away at once. When eventing with my daughter, he doesnt get so involved, which I think is a good thing, manly because the weekends are now full of racing, and I KNOW daughter would not be so diplomatic with him, but in a nut shell, YES, I wouldnt have it any other way!

07-03-00, 01:05 AM
How could we do without them! My wonderful other half (some say the better half), had no knowledge whatsoever of horses and has progressed into the best mare handler, foal handler and the best support crew anyone could wish for.
To make things even better - I think he may even be starting to enjoy it - although he still calls them "Julie's bloody horses".
Wouldn't & couldn't be without him.

07-03-00, 02:21 AM
I would love a man who was either involved with horses, or who could understand my passion for my horses.

After being involved with a non horsey man for 6 years, it came down to "it's the horses or me!".
What a decision, the horses stayed and the man went. He might as well have said cut off your arms and legs.

Consider yourselves lucky to have someone who understands you and your horses, it would sure make life easier.

black beauty
07-03-00, 03:16 AM
It would actually be nice to have a man let alone a horsey one, when I do he will definately be a knowledgable horse person, anyone know of any ?, oh and a sensitive new age guy of course !!.

07-03-00, 04:08 AM
I have to say mine is a fence sitter. He likes the horses well enough to come to the bigger shows when I need a bit of a helping hand and take a couple instead of just one. Back at home the horses are okay if he doesn't have to do anything with them. Every second Wednesday night he has to feed them 'cause I'm home too late and boy am I reminded of this fact everytime I ask if he will help me change paddocks over.

Then of course the minute the hint, word, anything to do with the dreaded VET comes up, I have to say the build up to World War 3 festers away until the next little "THEY'RE YOUR BLOODY HORSES" argument comes up.

But by the same token he will quite unhesitatingly put his hand up if my farrier can only come on a morning when my boss is in the office and there is no way I can get to work late (I really think the question should have been "How do all your bosses cope with the fact you own horses and work full time......").

There are times when he gives me the irrits and times when he is great, but in a perfect world all would be very boring.

07-03-00, 05:24 AM
I too have a husband who is of the "not-horsey" variety. Yes, to give him his due he does try to take an interest but lo and behold when the feed bills, instruction fees, VET BILLS and all the other assorted COSTLY sundaries arise. It is a very predictable cycle but one that (after 13 years) does not appear to be breakable. But what is the answer? Give up the horses (which has been a passion since childhood) and be miserable or give up my husband? (not on the cards). I have often wondered if I could only get him on one and have a few lessons he may see how it is a thinking sport and not just boring riding around in circles or madly tearing across a paddock at a jump. Does anyone have any idea of how I may change the situation?

07-03-00, 05:37 AM
oh Mon, hide your bills LOL!!!

07-03-00, 05:58 AM
I was 30 when I met my husband, before that, there were lots of relationships, all of them ended usually because of the horses, and the men not being able to cope with my independence and determination with my sport. Now I have a wonderful man who is not in the least bit horsey, when I met him, he lived in a very trendy, inner suburb home, that was so neat and clean he really put me to shame. I was too embarrassed for a long time to have him come to my home - sprawling colonial home in the rural suburbs of Adelaide, and the first time he met my horse - she was so happy to see me she threw up her head and came galloping towards me. I was impressed - I thought, he'll like this, but he was hiding behind me saying, "oooooh,.... big horse... coming really fast.....straight towards us...." God it was funny. Now we live on a small property, all our horses are at home, he loves them - he even cried last year when one died. He helps whenever I need it, and never complains about anything and we have never been happier.

On the other hand...... My problem is my parents in law. They resent the money that goes into it (not that it's any of their business), They think I'm selfish, and they couldn't understand why I was crying when my horse died, or why my mother was ringing and upset, - they even made the analogy of gold fish dying - you know, it happens, and it's not worth getting upset over. I've a few arguments with them about the whole thing, and now I've said to my husband that I don't ever want to be alone with them, because they never say anything in front of him.
To top it off, my sister in law has now taken up riding (heavens forbid - I think because of me!!) and their comment about that "Oh, it's so good of Jim (her husband) to allow her to have an interest" - OMG!!!!! Can you believe it?!

07-03-00, 06:40 AM
I too over the years have had many experiences with men and horses.

My husband was non horsey but after many years of marriage because wonderful around them. But after quite a number of years decided to take up car racing and other women instead. Good Bye.

The next man I went out with decided it was me or the horses. Good bye number 2.

The next man WAS VERY much into horses and we had some wonderful times. But it wasn't horses but football that caused the problems this time. Good bye number 3.

I decided that men were not worth it and it was easier to do things on my own. After 18 months on my own I found someone on the internet and we decided to met.

This man had never been near a horse before and was very interested in what they did and what I did with them. (I show ponies over summer and hunt over winter).

Now over a very short period of time he has gone ahead in leaps and bounds with what he can do around horses. His big thing at the moment is he has my horse saddled and waiting for me when I arrive home from work. I work the horse and hand the horse back to my man, who is more than happy to put him away and feed him.

I have found that he can't seem to get enough of the horses. He takes in everything that I or anyone else says. He then comes home and puts things into practice, just to see if they work.

When you have been around by yourself for so long I have at times found it hard to have a non horsey person around. You have to think for two people. But in this short period of time he has witnessed the sorts of things that can happen. And I have had some really good laughs at the type of comments that have been said by the man.

And yes now he is making waves about "Could I learn to ride too???????"

So if you are looking for a man - don't cross out someone who is not horsey - because one day you may just met the man who is willing to have a go and see things from your point of view. In fact now it is a race to see who gets the new horse magazine first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07-03-00, 07:27 AM
You guys are way too fussy.... horsey or not?
I'd just be happy with breathing and the capacity to stand upright! I don't care if he can sit on a horse or pull a float, just stringing a few words together at an odd attempt at conversation would be a huge benefit!

Still, in this female dominant sport, you're lucky to find one that's straight let alone thinking you might hit the jackpot for one that's faithful and heaven forbid - capable of supporting your equine habit as well as his own!

I envy all you older 'girls' who could meet someone and you didn't have to worry that you might catch something that could kill you; and that men had a few more morals for the most part and you could believe in them.

Knights on white charges just aren't as common as they used to be.....


07-03-00, 07:33 AM
Have to agree with Chaz here - don't cross out the non-horsey men. My man is/was non-horsey. In fact he said he was afraid of horses. I met him through my other love - scuba diving. He loves my horse, comes with me to all my lessons, hitches and parks the float (I tow because I'd hate to have something happen when I wasn't), collects my horse from the stable, does his feet and brushes him. He's been riding at a walk for 8 months now and the other day he said to me "how do I trot ?" and "maybe I'll have some lessons".
We do almost everything together except ride - I never try to push him towards horses and he never tries to draw me away. I'm sure he thinks it's a lot of money to spend, but he sees how much difference it makes to me. The only time he was ever critical was when I was getting up at 4.45am to ride and then riding again after work and even so my horse was impossible (due to change in stabling) and then it was only because he could see I was exhausted physically and emotionally. I give thanks for him every day.

07-03-00, 07:48 AM
retired can vouch for him ... how old are you where do you live....
he also likes dogs and kids.... stewards at Barastoc - can ride, rug and feed when I'm away....

07-03-00, 08:35 AM
hey, I'd settle for one who couldn't stand upright!! He could just sit under the tree and watch me and the horsies. C'mon guys, where are you???????

07-03-00, 09:26 AM
now you've embarrassed me by making me laugh from the computer!!! hahaha at work too!!!

my bf is not at all horsey, hates them in fact (dairy farmer) and it's the source of many ills unfortunately

i would ask for conversion tips but i think it's a completely lost cause

i have vowed however, to never ever ever set foot in a football venue again!!!

and are the posts above serious about casting off men in favour of horses? has it become that unbearable for some of you? and was it soley the horse issue????

07-03-00, 09:35 AM
I met mine maaaaaany years ago when I went to buy a horse from his dad - didn't buy the horse, took the bloke instead.. he's not a flash rider, but knows his way round horses, now is a showjumping guru, because he had to drive us to shows and needed something to do while we were riding took up course designing.
Now he - like me, loves to see the grand babies riding - and as the older one is jumping and competing over small courses, Poppy is soooo proud.. they are out there, and as I said our son (victim of BITCH engagment...told him he is too nice and took off to live with her male cousin...)
can ride, saddle rug and although through previous relationship is nervous round women could be sent in the right direction if you live in Victoria!!!!!!

07-03-00, 09:55 AM
OOOhhhh Fran! if only we knew this 4 years ago!!
Oh well i can't complain, partner rides and helps out when possible and loves to see the kids happy plodding about on the pony. Never sees the bills and just turns a blind eye and works over time if he does!

Black Beauty
07-03-00, 11:33 AM
Damn I live in NSW ( north coast) in my mid 20's, my looks have been compared to Kate Fishers, but still I cant find one, *sigh*

07-03-00, 12:20 PM
I think it's a matter of any man that would make you choose is not worth the crap. Seriously, what right do they have to deny you something that makes you happy?

My BF is pretty good, he'll tow the float and help out at shows, but he's never really got into riding. He thinks some of the things they do, especially the young horses, are just hilarious. Justifying the horsy expenses is easy, he spends about as much on his computer and accessories (i.e. games)!

Jan Heine
07-03-00, 03:26 PM
I don't recall this offer (how old did you say this son was?!) coming up when the Welshman unmercifully dumped me so publically on the cyberwaves - and I thought you were my friend too!
I made the mistake of marrying a concrete kid! The dogs weren't allowed in the house (much less sleep on the bed) and in fact it was a battle to even have a dog! Then the kid got her first pony at two and I thought he was leaving then but he stuck around (torturing me about the cost of keeping one little white pony would you believe!) for another couple of years and then he decided that my affections were based on his tolerance of the animals and kid so off he went to "find himself" (yep I gave him the Melways and said "go look") and since then I have kept relationships and my horses very seperate - that way I don't ever have to justify anything! Mind you it is difficult to find a man who understands that I go away for extended periods to shows and sleep in the truck (in my own bed in the horse area) with another woman's boyfriend (translated that means Harley and I going to shows) - luckily girlfriend understands because she is a rider herself and is quite pleased someone else has to make the endless cups of tea for Harley but non-horsey men just can't quite figure it out!
So Fran - I live in Victoria - how old is the son in question!?

07-03-00, 03:50 PM
He has blonde hair, well educated, excellent manners, computer literate, can fix an engine, gets a pained expression, sighs and says "Oh, Mother" when he has to extricate said parent from any number of situations. Ask her where her mobile phone once ended up. *giggle* - sorry Fran.

Jan Heine
07-03-00, 04:07 PM
So what is the mobile phone story Fran - you can tell me and I promise (*grin*) I won't tell anyone else!

07-03-00, 11:40 PM
Girls, don't be so selfish and think about the other side of the coin for a moment. Here was I happily single, doing the odd event and quite a bit of hunting. Meet the right girl who is a horse nut as well. Outcome....I never get to ride now. Not once from Jan '99 to 2000. Easy for you guys, just get a friend over during the day to look after the kids for an hour or so & you're away. I used to be able to sneak out for a quick burn at 5-5.30am. Not now, kids take that time.
Weekends...visit or work at the odd event, that's all.
So, if you're man is good with YOUR horses or bad with YOUR horses, don't complain too much and thank your lucky stars that you get to go to shows etc. I just want to get back to riding!!

08-03-00, 12:05 AM
I can't remember that one... but he does love dogs too... how about this one - something drastic had happened to our septic and he had removed the lid and was staring gloomily into the awful depths when around the corner at a million miles and hour came the old mini foxie - you guessed it no brakes... plonk... Son said he considered for a minute.. looking at her sinking slowly into the ooze... to shut the lid and run.. denying he had any idea where she could be... but (my hero) instead, reached in and lifted her out,yukyukyukyukyuk.... hosed them both off - man and dog... she was all fluffy for the day due to several baths... so was he come to think of it.
He's also done showjumping to state level, wouldn't mind takng up jumping judging, but the old farts hog all those jobs.. so he goes HQ car racing instead and is heading up to Darwin in May for some meeting...

08-03-00, 12:56 AM
The icecream melted happily away in the pantry, the mobile phone froze its' little battery off in the freezer (very muffled ring) and the glasses......did you ever find those again? The glasses were of course, version 44.3, they get lost so often. I can see when Fran departs this earth there will come many a tearful wail as someone will stumble over a long lost pair of her glasses. That or an archeological dig will decide in 100 years time that this site was inhabited by a clan of poorly sighted persons. *grin*

08-03-00, 02:49 AM
*cough cough splutter splutter*!!!

i know how you feel - but as for being able to get a friend to come over and watch the kids for an hour or so during the day???

i work!

so yes - i know how you feel! it's terrible isn't it! i really struggle to ride once a month - and it's never great because we're both so unfit and i can't really get him going well when i only ride that often!

08-03-00, 03:42 AM
Yes, that's true... and at present once again - if anyone finds a prescription set of sunnies - brown rims please LET ME KNOW - even my wonderful son hasn't found them...my optometrist sends me Christmas cards from his latest holiday - for which I pay.....

08-03-00, 02:53 PM
I met my lovely man (some of you know him!) on the Internet! He said that one of the things that attracted him to me was the horse thing! And also that I evented rather than hacked (sorry to the hackers amongst us, but I am sure there are some out there that prefer the clean and tidy lot!). He is now living with me on my little property and we have bought another bigger one to which we will move with our few nags and bulk dogs later this year. He has been involved with horses for some time, but not ridden, and we are looking for an old plodder for him to learn on. He is now a champion sh** picker upper, he does that while I feed up in the mornings. He likes to sleep rough in the float. He chats with the farrier. He will walk my hot horse after cross country while I gasp and try to breathe! and hold the youngster while I dash to the loo before my test.
Mind you I kissed a lot of frogs before I met this prince!!. Go for it girls, with the Internet you can suss them out before you commit!;-)

08-03-00, 03:02 PM
Lorraine - I think he's been playing with your computer.................

But yep - one of the best, eh. I've been married for 112 years and he still won't come to a comp with me. And I have been nice.

08-03-00, 03:44 PM
I met mine 15 years ago and he was very non-horsey.However the deal was if you want me to watch you surfing you come riding.That was the first step,next one was from him to me, what do you want for a wedding present?My answer a horse again.Two days later we have one,now have 20 and some are his.He now does the feet,gets them ready for shows,trains them, occasionaly rides and shows them for me and if I want to go without him he babysits the kids.The only hiccup is when one does something wrong it's always mine <vbg>.

Jan Heine
08-03-00, 03:53 PM
Does the "they're bad, they're yours" thing apply to the human kids as well?!

son of fran
08-03-00, 04:05 PM
so what is you real name and wb in nsw are u?
i sometimes need some time away from work
and life


Jan Heine
08-03-00, 04:16 PM
Must change the perfume - that must be it!Go for it Black Beauty - all yours!

Guess ?
08-03-00, 05:05 PM
Im on the north coast of NSW, about 4hrs from Sydney, lovely area shame about the age group.(grey hair brigade!)

09-03-00, 12:55 AM
Yes particularly with the eldest.According to him we have feral cats,horses and kids not necessarily in that order either.

son of fran
09-03-00, 12:55 PM
grey hair brigade ???????

distance ait too bad

black beauty
09-03-00, 01:27 PM
The grey hair brigade are over 70yr olds, its a bit of a retirement village here and it's at the bottom of a huge mountain, also refered to as "god's waiting room!".

son of fran
09-03-00, 05:12 PM
ohhhhhhhhh thanks

do you have icq ????

black beauty
10-03-00, 01:11 PM
No I dont currently have ICQ, though I have recently been thinking of installing it.
Why do you ask??


son of fran
10-03-00, 02:27 PM
well icq is sort of like the short wave
radio of the new age times .
and that way we can chat through it direct .
goto this site and this is me .
and mail me if you want you dont need icq to do this .

10-03-00, 02:38 PM
pity i'm not in the kate fisher mold lol *grin*

10-03-00, 02:49 PM
What's happening here girls and boys????? Do we need to watch this site more closely???????

s.o.f. and BB seem to be getting Very Close - and for those who Can Remember they're certainly very romantic. Lucky them. What's an ICQ?

And for the first time, I really have to ask - what's LOL mean?

(I'm already ducking, so fire away.)

Jan Heine
10-03-00, 03:02 PM
LOL = laugh out loud
ROFL = roll on floor laughing

But for the life of me cannot work out s.o.f!

I'm so proud to be able to help you Rosemary - it took me ages to work out LOL!

10-03-00, 03:10 PM
You of the flundies can not understand this? S..on O..f F...ran
Her's another that is used
LMAO - Laughing My @#$@ Off
Don't use it myself but took a while to figure that one out.

Jan Heine
10-03-00, 03:13 PM
Obviously I am having one of those extremely dum moments!!!

10-03-00, 03:49 PM
I'm now an enlightened chick-e-do. LOL = laugh out loud eh. I knew that. How very ordinary. I really thought that today's with-its (as opposed to yesterdays you-know-what-its) could have come up with something better than that. Oh well - live and Never Stop Learning!

10-03-00, 04:09 PM
Thanks guys. Have to go to bed now. Too old for these late nights and early mornings. Don't you just hate getting out of bed every bloody day??? And the horses are in their stables making all those lovely "feed me and feed me NOW" noises and they're feral warmbloods and you've got to get on them and ride them and they're going to hump their backs and not go forward no matter what and they'll kick at the whip and put their ears back and go slower if you use the spurs and isn't it just wonderful to get up early and ride!!!!

Jan Heine
10-03-00, 04:37 PM
you have obviously never known the joy of working with the Irish Warmblood - every day is a go forward and learn another thing type of day! Always steps forward - rarely do we have to take a backwards step - jealous yet!!! (LOL)

11-03-00, 01:22 AM

Reg Cleland
11-03-00, 01:29 AM
Don't shout, anon. It's too early.

Reg Cleland
11-03-00, 01:46 AM
Thank you Jan. I accept. When will I pick him up - or will you deliver him?

Elle McPherson
11-03-00, 02:40 AM
Hands up who thought Elle was better than Kate in S (can't remember the name of my own movie - that's motherhood for you along with being a super model. Ah what a life...)

Nicole Kidmen
11-03-00, 02:48 AM
Movie was Sirens
Saw a funny interview with Steven Spielberg the other day. He said he had gone in to a forum when Schindlers List had just been released and someone was going on about how wonderful the movie was. He posted a reply saying thank you and signed it under his name. Back came a message from his server several hours later saying that if he dared to masquerade as Steven Spielberg EVER again he would find himself banned and risked prosecution. Hahaha.

11-03-00, 03:08 AM
you guys are all crazy. thanks i just found out what lol means now i don't have to feel so stupid!

Jan Heine
11-03-00, 03:10 AM
I was ready to deliver - I would have to get past Harley and even if I managed that there is no way I would get either of the boys past Rebecca - we are talking "true love" here! And it goes both ways - the boys follow her every movement - whether in the barn or in the paddock - it is very cute!

retired being Reg Cleland
11-03-00, 03:24 AM
From a description in the NCAS post references of alice bands have invaded every where. Sometimes I am ROFL. Great to know that Oz wide there are humorous people propped up in front of their PC's.

Bill Clinton
11-03-00, 04:55 AM
that it is Reg
up for golf this W/E ????????

Rosemary being Reg C.
11-03-00, 05:16 AM
Sure thing, Bill. I'll bring Elle Mcpherson. We'll make up a foursome. You know who not to bring, don't you. LOL

Mad?????? Who's mad??????

11-03-00, 08:46 AM
ah sharon your words had me hesterically laughing all my arab and dressage friends have heard me lament the sad passing of the white knight or any knight for that matter

even someone elses castoffs would be appreciated will retrain / break if necessary

Kennith Starr
11-03-00, 12:54 PM
Can i come ??????????


Rosemary being Rosemary
11-03-00, 02:18 PM
Hey girls!!! I think I've got a live one!!!

Kennith darling - of course you can come. We gels are just pretending to be blokes here so we entice you fellas into THE NET heh heh heh.

We are desperate....

you're more than welcome.....

please join us ......


05-02-09, 12:05 PM
Hey,I'm in the exact opposite position,my husband is the experienced one,I'm the novice,my introduction to horses 9 months ago was 17h thouroughbed mare who he in formed me 'love I think I might get into the breeding game again,well he's a wonderful man but my god do wish clash on certain subjects it's an interesting life,thank god she's a quiet one or god knows what would go on,but I love her to death,love him to death and I guess apart from our different opinion on things at the end of the day,he's defintely the one I want by my side.Oh and by she's in foal,5mths to be exact.

05-02-09, 01:34 PM
My wonderful bf is not of the horsey variety but he is an animal lover which I prefer. Riding is my thing and he doesn't resent any of my time spent with the ponies. He loves the ponies and will come to shows annd has become a pro penciller when I am judging, he has a very good eye and has pencilled so much now he knows what im going to say sometimes. One morning when I couldnt get out to feed them he fed them for me and informed me that he put all their sunglasses on :-) they were very appreciative, as was I.

05-02-09, 01:45 PM
how do these old topics keep reappearing at the top, i didnt think you could reply to archived stuff!

05-02-09, 01:57 PM
It's like being in time warp, having Retired, Rosemary and Jan back! Good topic anyway. Having a horsey OH has it's benefits and drawbacks. I never let him tow the float. Last time he tried he left the mud guard on the side of the stables! It's good to have someone to get on the tricky ones, but I HATE him riding in my saddle. All the white bandages and saddle cloths seem to be stained, even before I get to use them. We're getting better, but his need to try to give me a lesson every ride (even when I want a quiet bludgey one) can lead to major domestics. He wants me to give him a lesson, but I never seem to say the right thing, especially the last ride before a show!